there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
