well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
