My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
