her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
