# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
the gays at disneyland are vicious
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
