hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
