My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
