Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
