she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So many bounce houses so little time
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
