I don't think brook has ever known best
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
