sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
