she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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