i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
