I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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