Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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