I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's never too late to be topless.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
