do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
