I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
