I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hippo gnu deer
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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