I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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