I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
