Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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