the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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