the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
