I wish life had little blips of pornography
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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