we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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