When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
third nipple confirmed
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
