Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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