we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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