u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
