We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize