Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize