Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
