I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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