I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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