He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
