every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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