Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
