Why are handjobs necessary in class?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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