went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize