Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
