Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize