these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
