Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
