so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
whose parrot is this?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
