im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
