The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
