It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
