Pregnant stripper...not hot.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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