I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
