my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize