If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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