Plan B is the new Plan A
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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