I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
