Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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