yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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