your room smells of hookers.
And success
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
