if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
