i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just want nice things and good sex
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
